


A Wolf or a Man

by Oh_Toasty



Series: 500 Words [7]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Character Study, Full Moon, Gen, Musing, Self accepting Remus, Stream of Consciousness, Werewolf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-17
Updated: 2018-09-17
Packaged: 2019-07-13 10:50:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16016375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oh_Toasty/pseuds/Oh_Toasty
Summary: Remus has always known who he is, but he cannot let the others know.





	A Wolf or a Man

**Author's Note:**

> As with most stories in this series, this is meant to be a fun writing exercise not a master piece.

It’s days like these that Remus feels the most like a liar: days when he sits in the Gryffindor common room as his friends sleep a meer floor above him, days when he has had to fight instinct to hunt, to kill, for hours on end, yet he cannot bring himself to sleep for fear of the nightmares. Exhausted, Remus pinches himself, determined to stay awake. 

It’s nights like this that remind him why he can never tell his friends what he is. 

They wouldn’t understand, he knows this much. Even if, somehow, they did forgive him for what he is; they could never accept how he is. They would expect him to be the boy they know, with the exception of the full moon. They wouldn’t be able to accept that the boy they’ve befriended is only half himself. Every day, every moment, Remus is suppressing his instincts; he is both man and wolf. He has known this for years, accepted it, adapted to it, even grown to like it about himself, but here only the man is accepted. 

Dully, Remus notes the time. He should sleep, Remus reminds himself. After all, wolves require more sleep than humans and he’s already behind on sleep. But sleep brings with it the one part of his life Remus hasn’t made peace with, the nightmares. At night he dreams of Greyback, he dreams of the full moon he was bitten under; he dreams of biting others. 

Remus does not regret who he is; he has made his peace with what he is. But here, within these walls, surrounded by innocent children, and they are children compared to him, here, he fears not himself but what he may do to others. 

He never had to worry at home. There he was locked away both under muggle lock and key and magical means. Even then, his parents made their way to the city for the night and he was alone in an underground cellar in the vast forest. 

He shakes his head; the full moon isn’t for another four days, there is no need to worry. Slowly, Remus rises to his feet doing his best to ignore the pain in all his joints. After all, it’ll only grow worse  
he gets older; yet another consequences of a being bitten as a child and left without a pack. 

Remus chuckles darkly, he’ll maul himself to death he suspects. There are no other cases such as his to study; children bitten so young tend to die from the bite or disappear from the public eye. He suspects there must be at least a few others like him, living under the radar, but he knows they don’t go to Hogwarts or he'd have smelt them already. 

Pushing the pain aside, Remus climbs the stairs one by one. It’s all worth it. He decides as he lays eyes on his friends. The lies, the scars, the pain, they all bring him here, to Hogwarts, his home, his family.


End file.
